“A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy”

—Joseph Campbell

 

Custom Web Sites and Pages

As the number one most parsimonious web developer in the the Greater Denver region,(proof) ParsiLux is able to offer an online presence for any budget! Of course now you’re asking “Most parsimonious… what does that mean?”. I’ll tell what that means, it’s like if Bruce Lee roundhouse kicked a Bedazzelerâ„¢ in the face and knocked all of those silly rhinestone things out of the little holder tray, then you wouldn’t be able to Bedazzleâ„¢ anything. That’s what it means.

To be clear let me explain the metaphor, The venerable Bruce Lee in this context is the manifestation of our seething disdain for all things with complex explanations (as must be the case with anyone who would want to rivet on a bunch of fake jewel looking things to their clothes). The much maligned Bedazzlerâ„¢ unto whose face the foot was applied, in this case is other Web firms who want to do this to your website.

In honor of our founding father (Tl;Dr – Cool friar type dude who made up this) we would like to offer you our Occam’s safety razor special! A custom made WordPress Site with all the bells and whistles we can come up with,(don’t be greedy, domain name and hosting not included) for only U.S.$500 (or ~€374 and ~£318, neither of which we accept as valid payment).

WordPress is great choice for anyone who wants to maintain their own site or have the ability to change it at any time. We provide you the opportunity to completely customize the look of your site with out having to know the intricacies of esoteric things like HTML, CSS and PHP web development.

The Occam’s Razor part is our pledge to you, not to be burdened with a  web site that defies simple explanation, or is unnecessarily complex. The safety part is we require only 1/5th payment to commence work, and get this that U.S$100 (€ 75, £64, Â¥8265) will be used to procure your domain name and hosting(that you will reimburse later as per our earlier agreement) so you can easily approve! or reject 🙁 anything at anytime.

Is everyone ready for some jargon?

• LAMP
• PHP
• JAVA
• _HTML_(insert preferred letters and numbers)
• FTP
• SQL
• CS4
• AS3

• ________(insert technology yet to be invented)

Confused by all the letters and numbers? Let me explain, I’ll use them in a sentence everything should be clear after that.

“The other day while i was using my PHP back end to access the LAMP server to FTP some SQL updates I realized my _HTML_(insert preferred letters and numbers) JAVA code that pointed to my AS3 asset I made with CS4 was totally conflicting with my _______(insert technology yet to be invented).

Questions, comments, need a hug,

E mail: aa at parsilux.com